Apple’s ‘Time Bandits’ Remake Won’t Make History

The 1981 movie Time Bandits really did a number on me as a kid. I went into it expecting an unofficial Monty Python film, since half the legendary comedy troupe was involved: Terry Gilliam directed it and co-wrote it with Michael Palin, and Palin and John Cleese both play supporting roles in it. And beyond that, the idea of a boy roughly my age getting to travel through history with a group of thieves, all of them played by little-people actors — one of them Kenny “R2-D2” Baker, no less — sounded like a thrilling adventure. But Gilliam wasn’t trying to do Python again. The movie was more strange than funny. For weeks after, I had nightmares inspired by the ending, where our young hero’s parents blew up after touching a literal piece of Pure Evil (the film’s villain), leaving the boy utterly alone — abandoned even by the firefighter (played by Sean Connery) who resembled Agamemnon, the mythical hero who had become a surrogate father figure during an earlier adventure. 

Apple’s new Time Bandits series, from What We Do in the Shadows creators Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, plus Iain Morris (The Inbetweeners), seems designed more to match the version of the movie I had in my head than the one Gilliam actually made. It’s sillier, jokier, and altogether lighter throughout. Apple has earmarked it for the Kids & Family tab on the app, and there’s nothing in the 10-episode first season that seems likely to give nightmares to viewers of any age. Even the demons who work for Evil (played here by Clement, with Waititi as his heavenly counterpart, the Supreme Being) are deliberately cartoonish. 

But if this new Time Bandits comes closer in ambition to what I wanted all those years ago, its execution is spotty. There’s a solid stretch of episodes late in the season, but most of what comes before is pleasantly daffy yet forgettable. Whatever issues I have with what Gilliam and company did way back when, the movie has stuck with me for decades.

This time out, our hero is Kevin (Kal-El Tuck), an 11-year-old English boy whose obsession with history mostly annoys his sister Saffron (Kiera Thompson) and their parents. When the Time Bandits wander through Kevin’s bedroom, he eagerly follows them into history, visiting Stonehenge and the Great Wall while both are still in early phases of construction, Troy right as a giant wooden horse is being wheeled up to the city gates, New York in the latter days of Prohibition, and other lively moments of the past.

The show features a few little people in smaller roles, as investigators chasing the Time Bandits on behalf of the Supreme Being. But the Bandits themselves are Penelope (Lisa Kudrow), who keeps loudly protesting that the group has no leader, even though she obviously thinks it’s her; Judy (Charylne Yi), the resident empath and psychologist(*); wannabe actor and inept master of disguise Alto (Tadhg Murphy); the strong but dim Bittelig (Rune Temte); and map reader Widgit (Roger Jean Nsengiyumva). Evil sends the demon Fianna (Rachel House) — who also happens to be Widgit’s ex — in pursuit, while Saffron winds up lost in time as well, trying to track down her brother.

(*) Yi said they quit the series during filming after suffering physical assault and other abuses without proper support from the producers. As a result, Judy abruptly vanishes during a time-jump in the middle of the season, in a manner that would feel awkward even without the real-world knowledge of why it happens.     

Much of the comedy depends on anachronistic humor. Kevin, who has long dreamed of finding out the origins of Stonehenge, is dismayed to find out that it was built to be a tourist trap, and that its inventors are planning to add a gift shop. In a later episode, the Bandits wind up in the middle of the 1343 Siege of Caffa, where citizens who don’t believe in the bubonic plague are written like they’re Covid deniers with their own social media followings. (“Follow me for more great tips!” one boasts after suggesting bathing in your own urine. Asked where someone might follow him, he explains, “On foot!”) A little of this goes a very long way, especially when the Bandits themselves are relatively one-note.

There are some inspired gags here and there, and some well-deployed guest actors like Con O’Neill from Waititi’s Our Flag Means Death as the Sheriff of Nottingham. But it’s not until the seventh episode that Time Bandits seems to find its groove, largely by foregrounding Saffron. Her irreverence about history proves a more powerful comic engine than Kevin’s love of the stuff, even if the latter leads to some sweet moments here and there. (In lieu of Agamemnon, Kevin’s surrogate father figure is West African ruler Mansa Musa.)

Like most Apple series, the money is up on the screen. The special effects are impressive, as are the historical recreations and some of the fantasy settings like Evil’s Fortress of Darkness. The episodes after Saffron joins the group — and after Penelope and the others accept once and for all that these kids are now part of their gang — are livelier, funnier, and more consistent than what comes earlier in the season. I can imagine my younger self being wowed by the visuals, and amused by Saffron riding a mastodon while barking out, “You don’t know me pronouns!” But it’s a lesser piece of work from its creators, having the rough comic shape of their more famous material, but not being distinctive, funny, or emotionally resonant enough to stick. This seems unlikely to make nearly the same impression on its target audience.

The first two episodes of Time Bandits begin streaming July 25 on Apple TV+, with additional installments releasing weekly. I’ve seen all 10 episodes.